Misconceptions About Autism

Misconceptions About Autism

DISCLAIMER – The Autism Resource Foundation provides general information to the autism community. The information comes from a variety of sources, and the Autism Resource Foundation does not independently verify any of it, nor does it necessarily reflect the views and/or opinions of the Autism Resource Foundation. Nothing on this website should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor regarding the needs of your family.

Here are points of view from those in the autism community (in alphabetical order).

About.com: Autism
Top 7 Myths About Autism - A diagnosis of autism is not the end of love and hope. But media stories thrive on the most overwhelming and horrifying circumstances. Here are just a few of the myths perpetuated by TV, magazines and movies -- myths that, at least in my opinion, deserve to be blown away!

1. Autistic People Are All Alike

Myth: If I’ve met an autistic person (or seen the movie Rain Man), I have a good idea of what all autistic people are like.
Fact: Autistic people are as different from one another as they could be. The only elements that ALL autistic people seem to have in common are unusual difficulty with social communication.

2. Autistic People Don't Have Feelings

Myth: Autistic people cannot feel or express love or empathy.
Fact: Many -- in fact, most -- autistic people are extremely capable of feeling and expressing love, though sometimes in idiosyncratic ways! What's more, many autistic people are far more empathetic than the average person, though they may express their empathy in unusual ways.

3. Autistic People Don't Build Relationships

Myth: Autistic people cannot build solid relationships with others.
Fact: While it’s unlikely that an autistic child will be a cheerleader, it is very likely that they will have solid relationships with, at the very least, their closest family members. And many autistic people do build strong friendships through shared passionate interests. There are also plenty of autistic people who marry and have satisfying romantic relationships.

4. Autistic People Are a Danger to Society

Myth: Autistic people are dangerous.
Fact: Recent news reports of an individual with Asperger Syndrome committing violent acts have led to fears about violence and autism. While there are many autistic individuals who exhibit violent behaviors, those behaviors are almost always caused by frustration, physical and/or sensory overload, and similar issues. It’s very rare for an autistic person to act violently out of malice.

5. All Autistic People Are Savants

Myth: Autistic people have amazing “savant” abilities, such as extraordinary math skills or musical skills.
Fact: It is true that a relatively few autistic people are “savants.” These individuals have what are called “splinter skills” which relate only to one or two areas of extraordinary ability. By far the majority of autistic people, though, have ordinary or even less-than-ordinary skill sets.

6. Autistic People Have No Language Skills

Myth: Most autistic people are non-verbal or close to non-verbal.
Fact: Individuals with a classic autism diagnosis are sometimes non-verbal or nearly non-verbal. But the autism spectrum also includes extremely verbal individuals with very high reading skills. Diagnoses at the higher end of the spectrum are increasing much faster than diagnoses at the lower end of the spectrum.

7. Autistic People Can't Do Much of Anything

Myth: I shouldn’t expect much of an autistic person.
Fact: This is one myth that, in my opinion, truly injures our children. Autistic individuals can achieve great things -- but only if they're supported by people who believe in their potential. Autistic people are often the creative innovators in our midst. They see the world through a different lens -- and when their perspective is respected, they can change the world.

Autistics.org

Some Things Autism is Not…

Autism is not mental retardation. Some autistic people may be very intelligent — there is a lot of evidence that Albert Einstein may have been autistic.
Autism is not "savant" syndrome. Some autistic people are "savants," (e.g., instant calculator, etc.) but most are not. Other autistic people are "gifted," however, and have high "general" intelligence. Many autistic people have normal intelligence, and some may be retarded.
Autism is not an emotional problem. Autism is a neurological condition which people are usually born with. Psychological trauma doesn't cause it.
Autism is not a psychosis or lack of reality contact.
People do not choose to be autistic.
Autism is not "a fate worse than death." Autistic people have some disadvantages, but some live very happy and rewarding lives. Many autistic people wouldn't want to be "cured," as this would be like erasing them and replacing them with different people.

Autism Society of America
Myths About Autism

Individuals with autism never make eye contact; they do not look at you.
Autism is a mental illness.
Progress means a person doesn't have autism.
Individuals with autism don't speak.
Autism can be outgrown.
Individuals with autism can't learn.
Underneath all the difficult behaviors is a normal person.
Individuals with autism cannot show affection and do not respond to physical affection.
Individuals with autism do not want friends.
Individuals with autism do not relate to peers/adults.
Individuals with autism are very manipulative.
Individuals with autism could talk if they wanted to.
Individuals with autism can't smile.
Individuals with autism don't notice others and don't pick up cues from adults.
When a person with autism does not respond to a question/direction to which he has shown a previous correct response, he is being stubborn/non-compliant/obnoxious.

Dr Spock
Autism Myths and Realities by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.

Autism is puzzling even to experts, so it is little wonder that it has given rise to many myths and misconceptions. Here are some of the common myths, along with their accompanying realities:

Myth:Children with autism can perform amazing mental feats, such as memorizing the telephone book or multiplying large numbers in their heads.
Reality: A small number of children with autism have very high IQs and exhibit such "splinter skills," as they're called, but most children with autism do not. Sadly, about 8 out of 10 children with autism also have some degree of mental retardation, without any extraordinary mental abilities.

Myth:Cold or distant mothering causes autism.
Reality: Autism is a biologically caused brain disorder. It does run in families, however, and some mothers and fathers of autistic children who seem extremely shy, socially awkward, or distant may themselves have very mild forms of autism.

Myth:Most children with autism never learn to talk.
Reality: With early identification and intensive intervention, as many as three-quarters of children with autism are able to talk. Those children with autism who never acquire spoken language often have severe mental retardation in addition to their autism, making the learning of language especially difficult. With training, however, even these children can often learn to communicate non-verbally.

Myth:Autism can be caused by vaccinations.
Reality: At least two large studies have looked for a link between vaccinations and autism and did not find any evidence for it. Autism usually first appears within the first two years of life, at a time when children are receiving many immunizations. The appearance of autistic symptoms shortly after an immunization is bound to happen some of the time solely by chance.

Myth:Children with autism are completely cut off from human relationships.
Reality: Children with autism have abnormal social relationships, but they have relationships nonetheless. For example, a young child with autism may feel love and attachment for his mother and father, but still dislike being touched by them (unless they hug very firmly).

Myth:Children withautism are all like the Dustin Hoffman character in the movie “Rainman.”
Reality: Autism is just one aspect of a child's personality and abilities. Children with autism differ in intelligence, sense of humor, interests, warmth, temperament, and many other qualities, just like all children.

Myth:Autism is caused by chemical imbalances or allergies that can be cured by special diets or nutritional supplements.
Reality: While these theories have undeniable appeal, no credible scientific evidence exists that diet or nutritional supplements can cure autism. Children with autism certainly can have allergies and nutritional deficiencies, and correcting these problems can help such a child to be healthier. This, in turn, may improve the child's behavior and general outlook, but special diets or vitamins are very unlikely to cure the autism itself, no matter what testimonials say.

John's World Of Autism
The word “autism” has become a more common term recently, due in large part to the Autism Society of America reporting that autism now affects one in 166 children. If you don’t already know someone with autism, you soon will. In fact, April is National Autism Awareness Month.

As the autism/behavior specialist for the Carmel Clay Schools, it is my job to educate others about this disability. Without proper knowledge, many people afflicted with autism often are misunderstood. There are many misconceptions and myths that I would like to share and resolve to help raise awareness in our community.

Myth #1: Autism is caused by “Refrigerator Mothers”
Many years ago, Dr. Bruno Bettelheim claimed that autism had a psychological causation, in that the mothers of these children, intentionally or not, did not love their children. The term “refrigerator mother” was born, referring to the fact that the mother was cold toward her child. Today we know that autism is a bio-neurological disorder which affects the functioning of the brain. Some theories suggest that it may be caused by genetics, viral and/or chemical exposure.

Myth #2: No emotion A common misconception is that children with autism are unloving and do not have any emotional feelings.
On the surface, this may seem to be the case because they don’t always express their emotions in a way that you and I recognize. But for those of us who know a child with autism, we are aware of the ways that they show love and affection.

Myth #3: Your child just needs a good spanking
We’ve all been out to a grocery store or running errands when we come across a child throwing a temper tantrum, including screaming, throwing and hitting. We may wonder why parents are letting their child do this without any discipline or reprimands. If this is a child with autism, he most likely has lost control due to sensory overload. The sounds and visual stimulation and the overwhelming crowds are just too much for this child to take in, which results in a melt down. Parents are unrightfully blamed for not disciplining their children.

Myth #4: You’re born with autism
Some babies, who are later diagnosed with autism, achieve age appropriate developmental milestones, give parents eye contact, or engage in social exchanges. On average, autism is diagnosed at 44 months of age when development slows down or symptoms become more obvious to others.

Myth #5: Vaccines do not cause autism
The jury is still out on this one. Although a recent Institute of Medicine report appears to refute an association between vaccines and autism, the major autism organizations all agree that more research needs to be conducted. A recent study suggests that children receiving vaccines containing the preservative thimerosal are many times more likely to develop autism than those who receive thimerosal-free vaccines.

Myth #6: Dustin Hoffman’s character in “Rain Man” is typical of a person with autism
The character in “Rain Man” was a high functioning person with autism and a savant. In reality only 2 percent of those diagnosed exhibit such savant capabilities.

Myth #7: The increase in the rate of autism is due to better diagnosing
Ten years ago, the rate of autism was 1 in 10,000 births. Today it is 1 in 166. This is a 5,000 percent increase in 10 years. If this astonishing increase is due to better diagnosing, where are the thousands of autistic adults who should have received a diagnosis 10, 20 or 30 years ago?

Myth #8: Autism is a rare disorder

With 1 in 166 children being diagnosed, autism can certainly no longer be considered rare. We have an epidemic on our hands. Every 16 minutes, another child is diagnosed with autism.

Kyle's Treehouse
There are many myths surrounding autism. It may be frustrating at first to determine whether information is inaccurate or factual. Below, we've listed some of the more prevalent misconceptions about autism. You may come across more

Autistic children can't be helped.
Many people believe that a person with autism cannot learn new skills, but this is not the case. The treatments featured at Kyle's Treehouse, while varied and different, have all seen improvements in children's conditions. In many cases, these improvements have been dramatic and there are some cases where the person no longer has autism at all (including Kyle himself, the once-autistic son of the founders of Kyle's Treehouse).

Cold or distant parenting causes autism.
One of the original "cause" theories was the "refrigerator parent," which held that parents who were unloving created such an unattractive world to the child that the child became autistic. This theory couldn't be farther from the truth and is no longer considered credible. Children from all walks of life are diagnosed with autism, and parents with autistic children also have children who are not autistic. Today we know that parents are not to blame for causing autism.

All autistic people are like Rain Man.
The film Rain Man changed how autism was perceived, from a little-known disorder to something people talked about. Because the autistic character Raymond (played by Dustin Hoffman) had some extraordinary abilities (known as splinter skills, which can include perfect memory, mathematical calculation, and art/music), it has often been assumed that all people with autism have abilities like these. While it is true that some autistic people may have extraordinary skills, most do not have these abilities.

Autistic children never learn to talk.
Many autistic children have the ability to speak and learn to talk and communicate successfully with others. Therapy can have a great impact and help autistic children develop strong language skills. Many autistic children who did not talk now speak with great skill.

Autistic children do not smile or show affection.
People with autism do indeed feel and experience emotion. This has been demonstrated by numerous people who once had autism and by autistics who have the ability to clearly communicate and show emotion. Because of the nature of the disorder, it may take longer for attachments and bonds to form. But many autistic children show affection right from the beginning, and many others demonstrate affection as they develop.

If a treatment doesn't have clinical research behind it, it is probably not useful.
Very few treatments have done any form of clinical research. This is mainly because it is difficult to do and very costly. Thousands of parents have found help and been extremely satisfied with their experience involving treatments that do not have clinical research to back them up. Kyle's Treehouse believes that everyone would be better served by more research and hopes to sponsor many various treatment trials in the long term.

Alternative therapies are run by charlatans.
We have spoken to many families who have done alternative treatments as well as many of the professionals who provide alternative treatments. They are, for the most part, people who want to help and truly believe they can. We have yet to come across someone who offered a treatment and didn't believe in it. (Please note: we have not spoken to everyone, and cannot vouch for every treatment out there. As a generalization, we have been impressed by the dedication and concern we have witnessed from everyone with whom we have spoken. In all instances, more than a small group of parents have indicated success.)

Autism can be cured solely with nutrition.
There is no scientific evidence that finds nutrition to be a cure for autism. There is, however, anecdotal evidence that adding certain vitamins and/or supplements or removing certain foods can have a large impact on the child's development.

New Horizons For Learning
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD): Myths and Facts

Myth: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders do not care about others.
Fact: Children and adults with an ASD often care deeply but lack the ability to spontaneously develop empathic and socially connected typical behavior.

Myth: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders prefer to self-isolate.
Fact: Children and adults with an ASD often want to socially interact but lack the ability to spontaneously develop effective social interaction skills.

Myth: Children and adults with an ASD cannot learn social skills.
Fact: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders can learn social skills if they receive individualized, specialized instruction and training. Social skills may not develop simply as the result of daily life experiences.

Myth: Poor parenting or parental behavior causes Autism spectrum disorders.
Fact: Parents do not and cannot cause autism spectrum disorders. Although the multiple causes of all autism spectrum disorders are not known, it IS known that parental behavior before, during and after pregnancy does not cause autism spectrum disorders to develop.

Myth: Autism spectrum disorders are not increasing in incidence. They are just being better diagnosed, and diagnosed earlier so the numbers are increasing.
Fact: Autism spectrum disorders are increasing across the globe at an alarming rate. Some states are considered to be in an autism epidemic. Many states experienced a 500-1000% increase in the past few years. No one knows the cause or causes for the increase. Better and earlier diagnosis can only account for a fraction of the current increases in numbers.

Myth: ASD is a behavioral/emotional/mental health disorder.
Fact: Autism related disorders are developmental disabilities and neuro-biological disorders. These disorders manifest in early childhood (usually before the age of three or four) and are likely to last the lifetime of the person.

Myth: People with autism spectrum disorders cannot have successful lives as contributing members of society.
Fact: Many people with autism spectrum disorders are being successful living and working and are contributing to the well being of others in their communities. This is most likely to happen when appropriate services are delivered during the child's free, appropriate, public education years.

Myth: Autism spectrum disorders get worse as children get older.
Fact: Autism spectrum disorders are not degenerative. Children and adults with autism should continuously improve. They are most likely to improve with specialized, individualized services and opportunities for supported inclusion. If they are not improving, make changes in service delivery.

Myth: Autism spectrum disorders do not run in families.
Fact: More families are experiencing multiple members with an ASD than ever before. In some families, parents with an ASD were misdiagnosed or never diagnosed. In some families, many or all siblings are in the autism spectrum. Most often, one child with autism is born into families who do not have other family members with an autism spectrum disorder.

Myth: All people with an autism spectrum disorder have "savant skills", like Dustin Hoffman's character in "Rain Man".
Fact: Most people with autism spectrum disorders do not have any special savant skills. Some have "splinter skills", areas of high performance that are not consistent with other skill levels.

Myth: It is better to "wait and see" if a child does better rather than refer the child for a diagnostic assessment.
Fact: The earlier autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed and treated, the better. Outcomes for children's lives are significantly improved with early diagnosis and treatment. When in doubt, refer, do not wait.

Myth: Autism spectrum disorders are something to be hidden. Other students should not know about the presence of an ASD in a classmate. If you do not tell the other children, they will not know that something is "wrong" with the student with an ASD.
Fact: Students need to know when their classmates have a developmental disability that is likely to effect interactions and learning. Students as young as five years old are able to identify differences in their peers. When students are not given appropriate information, they are likely to draw the wrong conclusions, based on their very limited experiences. Confidentiality rules must be taken into consideration and parental approval sought to teach peers how to understand and interact successfully with children with ASD.

Myth: Certain intensive, behavioral based programs "cure" autism spectrum disorders if they are delivered at the right age and intensity.
Fact: There is no cure for autism spectrum disorders. Early behavior-based interventions have positive effects on some children with autism and less note-worthy effects on other children. Early services need to be based on individual children's needs and learning styles, not based on programs being sold as "cures" for every child with ASD. Services for adults with the features of autism need to be carefully individualized to the adult.

Myth: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders are very similar to one another.
Fact: Although all children and adults with autism spectrum disorders have three diagnostic features in common, each child with an ASD is a unique individual. People with autism spectrum disorders differ as much from one another as do all people.

Myth: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders do not interact very much. They do not have good eye contact. They do not speak well. They are not very bright.
Fact: Children and adults with autism spectrum disorders may speak and/or interact with others. They may have good eye contact. They may be verbal or non-verbal. They may be very bright, of average intelligence or have cognitive deficits.

Myth: The best place to educate a child or adult with an autism spectrum disorder is in a separate program designed for children or adults with autism.
Fact: Educational and adult services delivered to a people with ASD must be specifically designed for each person. Many people with ASD do the best when their services are individualized to them, not designed to be the same for a whole group. Remember that the "I" in IEP or IHP stands for "individualized." (The outcome for education for all children is to be able to belong to the community and contribute. These goals are often best met when the child with an ASD is educated in a community school with access to the typical children who will become the community of the future.)

Myth: If you have an autism disorder, you will not have any other disorder.
Fact: Autism Spectrum Disorders can co-occur with any other disorders. It is common to find a person with ASD who also has any of the following: Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy, cognitive impairments, deafness, blindness, and medical or seizure disorders.

Myth: it is very hard to know if a person with other disabilities has an autism spectrum disorder.
Fact: Autism is diagnosed by looking at the behavior of the individual. If the individual displays the features of autism, then they may have autism. An assessment should be completed.

Relationship Development Intervention (RDI)

True or False? Which of these are myths?

If a child is not functionally fluent by their 5th birthday, they will remain mute for their entire life.
Teaching eye contact allows children with autism to have success in social relationships.
If you teach a child enough rote language, he or she will be able to have reciprocal conversations.
Social skills groups are effective in teaching people on the spectrum to have relationships.
If a child can "fit in" and superficially appear normal, he or she will be able to make friends.
If you teach the academic skills so that the child can get into college, they can go on to have a pretty normal life.
Children who have undergone "proven" interventions and treatments have been followed to see how they do as teenagers and adults.
If a child spends most of his time focused on developing his computer skills, someone will want to hire him someday, regardless of his or her ability to collaborate and work as part of a team.
Children with Asperger's Syndrome usually become highly paid and successful "nerds" and "geeks."
People with autism may not have the same emotional or social needs as everyone else. They might be happy living a life without friendships and intimate emotional relationships.
If a child can function in a regular class he or she will be successful in life.

These are all false, all myths.

South Carolina Autism Society
Myth: Children with autism never make eye contact.

Many children with autism establish eye contact. It may be less than or different from the typical child, but they do look at people, smile, and express many other wonderful non-verbal communications.

Myth: Inside a child with autism is a genius.

The myth that a genius is hidden in a child with autism may exist because of the uneven nature of the skills that many children exhibit. Children with autism may have splendid physical skills, but no functional language. A child may remember the birthday of every child in his class at school, yet be unable to determine when to use the pronouns you or me appropriately. A child may read with perfect articulation and not understand the meaning of what he has read. Children with autism exhibit a full range of IQ scores. Most children with autism will exhibit significant delays in some areas of mental processing. A very small percentage exhibit above normal intelligence; an equally small percentage of children exhibit very low intellectual functioning.

Myth: Children with autism do not talk.

Many children with autism develop good functional language. Most other children can develop some communication skills, such as sign language, use of pictures, computers, or electronic devices.

Myth: Children with autism cannot show affection.

Probably one of the most devastating myths for families is the misconception that children with autism cannot give and receive affection and love. We know that sensory stimulation is processed differently by some children with autism, causing them to have difficulty expressing affection in conventional ways. Giving and receiving love from a child with autism may require a willingness to accept and give love on the child‘s terms. Sometimes the challenge for parents is waiting until the child can risk a greater connection. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends may not understand a child‘s aloofness, but can learn to appreciate and respect his/her capacity for connection with others.

More Myths and Misunderstandings about Autism

Progress means that the child does not have autism.
Children with autism do not smile at you.
Children with autism do not participate in physical affection.
People with autism do not notice others and do not pick up cues from peers/adults.
People with autism do not want friends.
Individuals with autism do not relate to peers/adults.
People with autism could talk if they wanted to.
When a child with autism does not respond to a question/direction to which he has previously shown a correct response, he is being stubborn/non-compliant/obnoxious.
Autism can be outgrown.
Autism is an emotional disability.
Children with autism cannot learn.
Children with autism will show no imagination.
Bad parenting causes autism.
Autism is rare.

Talk About Curing Autism (TACA)
The common misconception with autism is that all autistics are like the actor Dustin Hoffman is his portrayal of RAIN MAN. His character possessed an amazing mathematical skill of adding enormous amounts of objects or counting cards in a deck. This example is a Hollywood portrayal and is not the case with all individuals affected by autism. His performance is to be applauded, but it was only that…a performance, and should not be considered as an example of autism today.

The Autistic Spectrum

Myths And Bad Information

There are many myths about autism that are inaccurate, based on outdated information or opinions of people based on what they see without really looking into what they see. These myths can pervade society even though there is no foundation or real research behind them.

People who may appear to be knowledgeable occasionally spread inaccurate information. The Internet can tend to present things this way, therefore always look at the source and take into account who they are and what they present as evidence of their expertise.

This misinformation, as well as people's pre-conceptions is what helps people form false ideas of autism. Some inaccurate theories often heard by parents and autistics are that autistics do not have emotions, that their autism is caused by "refridgerator moms" or bad parenting, that their autism is a result of neglect, ad infinatum (into infinity)!
Please take the time to learn why these theories are wrong and the next time you hear someone say something like this speak up and teach someone else about the real Autism.

Autistic Tendencies And What They May Mean

Unusual Actions

Many autistics act unusual when compared to the typical population. They may not respond when spoken to or they may look away from the person asking the question. They may have other unusual behaviors that most people do not understand. Some behaviors are misinterpreted as being the result of poor discipline. Some appearances and behaviors lead people to believe the person may be without feelings or unable to comprehend what is being said. Some people come to this opinion based entirely on a brief observation, rather than really trying to look for further signs of understanding.

Tantrum Or Breakdown?

When a person unfamiliar with Autism sees a parent letting their child scream or hit or throwing a tantrum, they have no concept that the child has truly lost control for a valid reason. They tend to blame the parents for not disciplining the children and not teaching the children how to be sociable, respectful and how to act in public. They have no concept that what they are seeing may be the results of a sensory overload (too much noise, too much visual stimulation, too much body contact as in crowds).

They are so used to having the power to control what they take in of their environment they cannot conceive of how this child’s brain just went into overload. Autistics, without training, often are not able to filter out all the other environmental happenings going on around them and isolate sensitivity issues such as bumping into people in crowds, or sorting out the visual stimulation that exists around them at once. Sorting out between different stimulii also maybe difficult.

All this that we take for granted, an autistic usually has to handle item by item and sometimes when young, they just can't take it, their brain just gets too confused from all the input, resulting in a "blow out" or "overload". It takes a lot of training and experience for them to gain skills necessary to overcome this, if that happens to be one of the autistic's traits.

Traditional Discipline Is Not The Answer For Non-Traditional Behavior

The observer who does not understand autism, does not understand that first the child needs to be calmed and what we are doing to calm the child may not fit in with their opinions on what should be done, we know best because we've lived with these children for all of their life. We've learned best how to help a child out of a blow out such as they may see. While the child may be acting up, the observer has no idea of how much that child has worked at being able to cope up to that point and that even during this blow out the child is trying hard to regain their composure. The observer never thinks that the kids don't like these act-outs any more than anyone else witnessing it does. They have never had their child tell them that sometimes their head goes crazy and they wish it wouldn't. However it does not mean that the parent just allow the child to act out till they wear themselves out either, but the unfamiliar observer may not realize the parent is using a different technique.

We Need To Teach People And This Is Why

We need to help people to understand. We all need to learn to live together in harmony, the earth is too small for all of it's inhabitants to continue to separate into groups, isolating one from another. We all need to accept differences and stop trying to make everyone change to our way. We need to foster acceptance of special needs people as they are, to stop making the ultimate goal to make them more like us. We have far more capability to accept them and allow them into our world than they do to conform to our ways. This doesn't mean that we stop trying to train them to make their life easier on them, but it means for us in the typical world to learn and understand a greater tolerance for those that are different. Most people seem to notice the difficulty these kids have, but they fail to see the effort that the child is making trying to conform to situations that are very difficult for them to act in.

Many of the kids try to fit into the world around them, but they may not know how to, so they often are anxious to know how, but it will still take them a longer time to remember. What I'm asking is for the typical world to recognize this part of it and be patient.
The No-Emotion Myth

The worst myth of all is that these kids are unloving, unemotional and have no emotional feelings. While they may not show them in the traditional way, I do not really know how anyone can say that they are sure they don't. And I ask people who think this way, what is the benefit and what if they are wrong. If you put yourself in the shoes of that Autistic person and see or hear people act as though you don't, and you say things that could be very upsetting to the person then what have you gained? You might have told some typical person something that you think they needed to know but couldn't that also have been done away from the autistic person? If the person is withdrawn and yet can hear and most of what they hear is how limited they are, then where is their motivation to try to come out of their shell?

To most parents and people who spend time with these children, they find the ways these most withdrawn autistics show emotions and love. It's not typical, but it takes looking at things from a different perspective and learning the different ways.

Autism and Retardation

Another thing that seems to be true of many disabilities including deafness, blind people as well as autistics and other developmental delays, is that many people seem to think these kids have a very limitied capability of learning.
I often feel the way retarded people are treated to be disturbing. Some people seem to act as though people with developmental delays either can't understand things (some of which can be insulting) or that they are only capable of so much. Some people seem to think that these people are immune to things like being ignored, such as talking to the parent about the child in front of them without acknowledging the child in any way.

Others seem to think that being mocked can't have damaging effects, that it's something that people just have to live with. Typical people can't always do this yet it seems these people expect special needs people to. While it may be common in some environs, there is really no reason why the disrespectfulness of this should not be addressed when this is witnessed.

The other one is when their capabilities are ignored, when they are always given tasks that are too simple and unchallenging. For some kids it may be ok, but for those who recognize that they are not being challenged it can bring out behavior issues.

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